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Marriage versus Living Together
I chose the article Marriage versus Living Together published by Jo McGowan because it displays a difficult decision that many of us make in today's world. We either choose to marry, then live together, but more commonly among young people today, we choose to live together, then marry (maybe). In this article McGowan explains the pros and cons of this question. The author also shows that different cultures see these choices in a different perspective.
Marriage in the United States is not permanent, unlike other cultures. In India for example, "divorce is practically unheard of" (Scott and Warren 84). Once an Indian person chooses a significant other, they stay with them, even if they never marry, they choose to marry to become accepted; the social norm. Therefore in India, people have more of a permanent thought on commitment, and even a commitment to live with each other. In America, we have seen divorce from our parents, friends, parents' friends, and even pastors. We do not believe in the permanence of anything, let alone just living with each other. Americans do not fully understand the concept of marriage. We believe that living together is marriage without the ceremony, and if there are problems in the relationship we are able to call it quits many without complications. I believe that marriage and living together are quite different, both in communication and in commitment.Custom Essays on Marriage versus Living TogetherI chose the article Marriage versus Living Together published by Jo McGowan because it displays a difficult decision that many of us make in today's world. We either choose to marry, then live together, but more commonly am
Americans believe that living together and marriage are the same thing. Americans believe that living together will allow them to try one another out, to see if they are compatible. While this makes sense, it allows us to call it quits when things become a rough, not seeing that there will always be rough times which make a relationship stronger. While in a marriage we are committed to the other person and are more apt to try to work out a minor disagreement, and the marriage becomes more secure. When living with one another, the parties involved are able to call it quits and move on if a problem exists, the commitment is just not there. A marriage requires a commitment, while living together does not.
Most people that choose to live together before marriage have poor communication skills with each other, which in turn affects their relationship with one another. While living together, most couples do not talk about personal problems or concerns that they may have. They do not feel that the other person needs to hear about them, or that it is "none of their business". While, being married makes you communicate better, your problems and concerns are your partners problems and concerns, it affects both of you. If you just live together, you have problems communicating. If you decide to get married at some point after the cohabitation, you will continue to act in much the same way you did before, making your relationship much more vulnerable to divorce and major problems. In addition, just living together allows a person to take advantage of the other, by using them for certain things, such as money, gifts, and an emotional output. Communication is very important for a marriage, and if you are just living together your communication is very poor and will be shaped from the cohabitation.
Americans do not understand the communication and commitment that is involved in a marriage. We believe that living together is enough. Marriage is much stronger than living together, couples have to be involved the others problems, they need to communicate and commit to each other in a whole new level in order to make a relationship work.
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