My influence

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Throughout my life, music has always been a major influence. It has the power to change my mood when Im feeling down. So, what better way to write a personal essay than to talk about one of my hobbies that has influenced nearly everything in my life up until now. Ive decided to reflect on how music has changed my life from the smallest to the largest things that are a part of who I am today.

The main genre of music I am interested in is rock and rap music. I feel these give me all the things I need, if I need cheering up, calming down or even just laying back and relaxing too. Up until recently I wasnt really exposed to the whole rock and rap scene. Mainly because of radio and mainstream t.v. broadcasters refusing to show them during my earlier childhood. Although, growing up, if there happened to be a song with a good hip hop beat or the odd power chord which broke into the U.K. charts, I would usually be found blaring it through my speakers.

There are many reasons why i choose to listen to a certain type of music or not. It mostly comes down to meaning; how well I can relate to what the song is saying, the depth, creativeness and even humour. I like to have a somewhat, wide variety of music taste so I can put in a certain C.D. for whatever mood I may be in. If Im happy, Ill put on an up beat, entertaining C.D. Or if I feel down, I can either put on a mellower album or again, a humorous C.D. to cheer me up. Although I do liek to relax and write some of my own things.

I feel my attitude as a whole has changed over the past few years because of music. Most people may argue that this is a bad thing and a very negative force to alter ones life, but I feel if music can make me happy, thats all that matters. It has changed my attitude towards many things, most of which I will shortly cover. Such as school, the best days of my life and even my religious faith.

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I feel music can move you. Move you like the happiest or saddest moments in a movie or good book. Maybe even with more power. And what would movies be today without the thumping soundtrack adding to the excitement of the car chase scenes? How would the romantic dance scenes be portrayed without the slow, heart warming beat in the background? Music is my biggest influence and possibly one of the greatest outlets of all time.

Most importantly I have been more aware of the influence of music through my urge to learn my first musical instrument. Which I recieved at Christmas and have been gradually learning over just over half a year now. I believe if I didnt have such inspirational, musical role models I would have give up learning a long time ago or most likely, never even have bought a guitar at all. My best friend, Jordan and I play guitar together and regulary practise. This brings me onto the influence on the friends I choose.

Music has opened me up towards people and made me a lot of new friends.Through music clubs and just generally sharing the same music tastes. For an example; One of my favourite rap/rock groups named The Insane Clown Posse. This band have given their fans a family name so to say; Juggalos and Juggalettes. Most people may regard this as stupid or immature, but to me and the rest of the fans, this makes us feel like were part of a group. Like a second family. If I was to walk down the street wearing anything that was signifying that I liked The Insane Clown Posse and I crossed another fan, without even knowing each other, we would already have an immediate bond - Through the music. To me, thats special.

Most of my friends I hang around with nowadays Ive only recently known. Mainly because of my interest in rap and rock music. Which has just recently grown on me in the last few years. Although, there are a few friends who I have known longer through primary school. One of which (my best friend) I have known for almost ten years and although we never met through music, it still plays a big part in what we talk about and do in our spare time.

This brings me onto my band hwich formed sometime last year, around September. Although I hadnt even held or played guitar at the time, I still decided to join with the drummer and later on, so would my best friend. Ive had my guitar for over half a year now and Im finaly getting to grips with it. We have only had three practise sessions together, but we managed to cover a few songs by other bands and even create a short song ourselves. I am hoping I can, in the future make a career out of music, and hopefully through my band. Its my passion and I love writing music. No matter what anyone else says, if it sounds good to me, Ill be happy. Thats all I want.

Along with guitar, I also write lyrics for our songs, which were inspired by the lead singer of Korn, Jonathan Davis. Most of them are based around real life demons and depression. Although I do like to vary them, just like Jonathan does. He is overall, my biggest idol in the music industry. His lyrics helped me come through a difficult time in my life and also helped me to express my feelings. From then on, Ive wrote lyrics or poetry whenever I have been low, bored or feeling creative. I find it a great outlet and I thank Jonathan for showing me this way of expressing myself. My future goals in life are to do somehting in music. Production, mixing or even as an artist, hopefully through my band. I think making music could be my ultimate pastime. To have it as a profession and job would be the greatest experience ever. To have a job that you enjoy and get payed for doing something you love is the ultimate dream. At least for me.

Music influences other areas of my life such as my clothing preference. Most of my clothes are influenced mainly from what American, rock and rap groups would wear. Not until recently has the overall style gotten very mainstream, as the music has also. Which personaly sometimes irritates me. I like to be somewhat unique and keep my music personal, so the fact of it getting very popular doesnt appeal much to me. The band, getting to big to fit in my back pocket so to say. It gets less personal and feels less like its just for me. Although it doesnt usually stop me from liking the music, because I cant deny liking something, I could ignore it, but that wouldnt be worth anything. Back onto the subject of my clothing, my wradrobe consists of mainly of black t-shirts, usually sizes too big for me and the same for the trousers, which are also usually black. I pick these clothes not only because they look good, but because Ive always liked loose fitting clothes. Its more comfortable. I feel it suits me and my personality.

Probably one of the most significant things music has influenced or more apropriatly, rebuilt, was my religious faith. Mainly because of the group I mentioned earlier The Insane Clown Posse. Ill attempt to explain in a few short sentences;

Well I.C.P. began their career as preachers of a mysterious religious force named The Dark Carnival which they devoted ten years releasing six albums or visions of the Carnival. Through this time, I was a firm believer and had found my faith in this Carnival. Then, during November of 00, they released the last vision. In the end, it explained that the carnival was infact, God. I figured that I always had a part of me that believed in the afterlife and God. So if I had strongly believed in the Carnival for a long time, then I must have deeply inside, believed in God. And my faith was rebuilt, thanks to music. Once again.

Lastly, two of the best days of my life were of course, seeing my two favourite bands at the time, live in concert. The first on Valentines Day 00 which was to see the widely known band Slipknot. Next was September 11th 00, which was to see my favourite band, Korn. Before the Slipknot concert I met the members in Virgin Megastore and managed to get my C.D. booklet signed by each person, all nine of them. To me, this was such a big moment in my life, everything that I looked up to and wanted to be was infront of me and shaking my hand. I loved every moment of those two days and hope to see them again soon when they come back. Maybe this time Ill get to do the same thing with Korn, which would most deffinetly top the past meeting because they really are my idols, who I look up to the most.

Some people feel its wrong to have people you dont personaly know as your main idols in life and say it sould be family or someone close to you. To me, it doesnt matter. I feel as if I know someone, solely through the music, they have given me. From when I was lowest, to right there at that concert, where I was at my happiest.

I am thankful for the music they have given me and for that I look up to them in every way possible. Although I have many idols and influences from many different areas such as my family, T.v. and authors etc. I feel my musical idols give me the most and help me with the most difficult things I have to overcome in life.

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