Friends helping Friends

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FRIENDS HELPING FRIENDS

Being a good counselor and helping other people with their problems is not as easy as it might seem. You have to obtain and use special techniques to interact with such people. There are many "Pitfalls on the path to helping others," just as the book "Friends Helping Friends," written by Carol Painter explains in the first chapter. There are certain skills that you, your self must master before helping others and in the second chapter Painter mentions one of the biggest skill to master, Attending skill.

The book so far is very interesting because it tells you how to make your self a better person by getting rid of the pitfalls in thinking of as being your own best friend, selfishness, responsibility, feelings, accepting "faces" people wear, seeing "problems" as problems...etc. Even thought this book is a manual for peer counselors, I believe that it is also a guide on how to make your self a better person. The first chapter tells you how some times selfishness is even a good thing, how you should take responsibility for the actions you choose, recognizing peoples true self and looking past there so called "Masks," and you should never give advice, because a good counselor is there to listen to a person not give them advice. You help a person narrow down their choices of possible solutions to a problem they have and they choose the right one...not you!

The second chapter is about attending skills. Attending skills do not come important only in counseling some one but also in every day conversations with your friends. Just like the book says " A listener plays an important part in a conversation." If your not paying attention to some one, no one will come to you for help or even a simple conversation. When you are using your attending skills during a conversation your are nodding your head, repeating what the other person says and say "um-hmm" once in a while. Even if you don't want to listen to some one you can use these skills and make them feel like you are listening to them. However the smart thing is just to listen to them attentively because they feel helped at the end and you feel like you did a great deed too.

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